Do you ever get that uneasy feeling inside, where you just feel all mixed up? You are being torn in a zillion different ways and it's all inside your head? This is a feeling I sometimes can't shake and I have given it a name J·U·M·B·L·E·F·I·E·D
This blog is just for me, to explore a way to get unjumblefied by getting my thoughts out on paper. I am not writing this post on this blog for anyone else but me. I know that sounds selfish and self absorbed, but I don't take time for just myself. I am constantly wrapping myself up in project after project. I am a mother of two beautiful children and I love them dearly, but although I am a stay at home mom, I feel like I don't spend enough quality time with them. Maybe that is just mom guilt talking, but I seriously feel like I spend all day with them, but it's not quality cause I am a bit stressed.
Let's talk about the stress. Stress comes from me piling way too much on myself. A couple of years ago I started a cloth diaper business, that has now grown into a cloth diaper store and we are starting to get our name out there, which is excellent and I am so blessed that it has really taken off. The business is really been putting us into debt though...it seems like every time we are close to getting out, like spring of 2012, when our central air system broke and needed replaced for a very pretty penny that we paid on credit, which is now going to be coming due in April of 2014. Then we have all of the credit cards we used to get the business where it is now. Keeping the store stocked is putting us in a bad place again. I have recently decided to hold off on ordering some more wool covers because we just can't afford it right now.
We carry a lot of brands and it is good to have these options for the various clientele we have. It is awesome when we have walk ins or referrals and have been consistently busy the last couple of weeks, ever since The Big Latch on in Frostburg on the 3rd. Which also happened to be the day that they celebrated my Grandmother's life and buried her ashes. I decided not to go back to Kansas for the service because I had just been out there on July 4th weekend and got to spend some time with her and help comfort her in her last days. She passed away on the 18th, just two weeks later in a nursing home in Edwardsville, KS. I was told that she was being worked with by a nurse there at the time of her passing and the nurse didn't even notice she had passed right away. It breaks my heart to have seen her that way. The drive to the nursing home was hard and leaving her there was even harder. What is really hard to coup with is the fact that there will no longer be any holiday's at grandmas in Kansas. Dad keeps talking about how he wants to have us do something for either Christmas or Thanksgiving, but I don't know if we are going to be able to afford it this year.
We have all of these finanacial cliffs we are facing, one this month, then again in October and then in April. I just really wish that I could sell all of the product we have in the store...like come up with a huge open house party or something that will get people to buy almost everything we have in stock, just so we can make it though these next few months. I know we can sell the grand prix, but it's nice to think that we have a back up car, like for when one of the vehicles is in the shop or something...but that's not really often. I do need to get the van to the body shop here soon to get the dent repaired that i put in it by backing into a telephone poll out front about a month ago. We just can't afford the $500 right now, and I want to have a car for the three days it will be in the shop, so we hang on to the grand prix....but then we need the money to pay off the debt I keep putting us into with store purchases.
I am planning a cloth diaper 101 classes for next wednesday, I am hoping that entices people to purchase something. I have tried sales before and I end up losing money at times cause the profit is so low. I am seriously hoping things will turn around for us soon. I shall keep you posted.
No comments:
Post a Comment